For those who have arrived here…
The feeling that this is more than you are capable of bearing
Is a feeling that you can pass through. You are capable.
That may not seem possible at the moment. But you don’t have to believe it right now.
For now, all you have to think about in this whole world
is taking some small steps away from emergency.
.
Do not try to assess the damage, or look for the cause while the explosion is taking place.
At this moment we just need to get you to safety.
This is completely doable.
Here are some steps to follow as a start.
If you can get to paper and a pen easily, do so. If not just open a new note or document to type.
First
Just write down the following prompts
Do not meditate on them.
You do not need to be mindful right now. Just note them and move forward
Note 5 things you can see
(you don’t have to focus on it for long, just note it down but if you can think of any brief descriptive words put them down too)
. . . . .
Note 5 things you can hear
(if you are somewhere quiet thats great! just write down as many things as you hear)
. . . . .
Note 2 things you can smell
(even bad stuff)
. .
Note 3 things you can feel/ touch
. . .
Next
If you are able to, try to connect with the outside.
Open a window, or go outside
and take 5 deep breaths.
This is not intended to fix anything or alleviate any feeling.
It is just the next step in this series of tasks
then come back to us.
Next
If this is something you feel you need
Here are some phone numbers/ resources to talk to somebody and begin down the road towards meaningful help
(You could use these at any point in the repair kit. Or just use the repair kit while you wait to get through to someone.)
Helplines & Resources
An important thing to remember is that these resources are not designed to instantly fix the problem, but they do provide someone you can immediately talk to, about anything, you can just share everything you’re feeling.
And then, they can assist you to get started on the journey of finding the help that works for you.
Okay
At this point i’m hoping there is even the tiniest shift in your feelings.
If it’s an ability to breathe slightly easier, a tiny shift in your emotional state, a slightly lowered heart-rate,
if not, don’t worry at all, theres so much more yet to be done,
but if so, we’ll just take that small shift as a tiny victory before moving forward.
Next
If this is possible and feels like something that might be engaging for you, we’re going to write a letter to someone that we’re never going to send.
We’ll set a timer for 15 minutes so we don’t spend too long on it.
But pick somebody. They can be someone you know and love, someone you haven’t spoken to in years. Or someone you’ve never met.
You can even write it to me if you like. Just somebody that you you feel comfortable writing to.
But the important part is that we’re never going to send it. It’s just an exercise in getting things out of your head and onto something we can hold.
Next
A Moments Distraction
Next I would suggest losing yourself in something that absorbs you.
Film
As crazy as it might seem at times like these to stop and watch a movie, sometimes a film is a great way to tell your body and mind that everything is going to just stop for a while.
And that can be helpful in catching your breath.
Here are some films I find take me somewhere I like to be.
Maybe pick something you haven’t seen from this list.
Try to find it online and just try to focus on the story for as much of its duration as possible.
If you’re finding it difficult to focus on the story have a look at the location, the light, notice something small on the screen that might not be important to the story.
. Field Of Dreams
. A League Of Their Own
. Howls Moving Castle
. Princess Bride
. Amelie
. The Holdovers
. Lars and The Real Girl
. The Goonies
. Catch Me If You Can
. Labyrinth
. Hook
. Spirited away
. Before Sunrise
Books & words
If books are what helps you escape, here is a reading list.This might require ordering them or going out to a shop so might not be for now.But they are just some words I love.
. Buddy Wakefield – gentlemen practice
(poetry)
. Billy Collins – aimless love
(poetry)
. Billy Collins – Taking Off Emily Dickinsons Clothes
(poetry)
. W.H auden – Selected Poems
(poetry)
. Susan Cooper – The Dark Is Rising series
(novels)
. Oliver Sacks – The Minds Eye
(non-fiction)
. Sarah Wilson – First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Story About Anxiety.
(non-fiction)
. Ray Bradbury. the october country (read The Wonderful Death Of Dudley Stone)
(short stories)
From me
I am not an expert. I don’t have any magic fixes. If you are reaching for this resource then I am quite literally just like you.
But what I can say is that I have been in times of deep crisis several times throughout my life, Some almost unfathomably dark. I will probably go through more,
But I am currently here speaking to you from the other side of it.
To me being in crisis feels like you have just reached the capacity of being able to handle what’s happening in life or in your mind.
It is a weight you simply do not have the muscle to carry. I have felt like someone in a burning room, with no exits but the window.
But as someone currently speaking to you from the other side of the emergency, there are doors, the fire burns like all hell but will not kill you, and will burn itself out slowly. You just need to recognise that the time has come to drop everything and get to safety.
So your job for thix moment is to find out what that looks like to you.
When Charles Darwin went through great grief, and had finished exploring the great depths of human time and the species place in existence, he went outside and spent time studying the earthworms in the garden.
Sometimes those of us most afflicted with emotional and psychological difficulty are those who tend to think big. But it’s important to learn to recognise when we arrive at the times where we need to just go outside and put our hands in a small patch of dirt.
If you feel alone, know that at the very least I have been where you are, but the very fact I felt the need to create this document, means that there are countless others, as you read this, in a room somewhere feeling the same, and you can all weather this storm. Try to tell yourself something you would tell one of them, and mean it.
I do love you dear stranger, you’re ok.
You will not feel this forever,
that’s not how feelings work.
Helplines & Resources
